Admiral Heinlein

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Spacecraft Registry
SS Admiral Heinlein
Spacecraft Characteristics
Base HullPrevost H5-60 articulated bus/RV conversion
Drive TypeReactionless thrusters
Drive RatingMax accleration 5G
OwnerDuane E. Peters
Flag of RecordNew Zealand
FactionHeinleinian, Discordian Pope
Registry NumberUESC001
Launched21 September 2009
PurposePassenger & freight delivery
Primary CrewDuane E. Peters (Captain/Owner)
June Waterman (First Officer/Voice of Reason)
Other CrewDurandal (Ship engineering AI)
Leela (Defensive systems AI)
Excel (C3I AI, nutjob)
Operational StatusActive
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(Created by Duane E. Peters)

Known Vehicle Quirks

  • Fibber McGee’s Closet: The Closet is an “N-space gravitic pocket” with a low sense of humor. June can open it and access it normally; if Duane opens it, he’ll be deluged with random items, most broken or in some other way useless, before being able to access anything at all. If someone not on the crew opens it, it might be full of bowling balls...
  • Alternate Drive: Duane built what appears to be a second drive for the Admiral Heinlein during The Accident. The nature of this drive is not yet known, even to Duane.

Known Crew Quirks

  • The Accident: Duane is the only person known to have gotten drunk on “fermented” ’Wavium, due to an accident with the old pressure cooker he was breeding it in. It coated the computers and most of his library when it exploded; he spent a week he still doesn’t remember drunk out of his mind on the stuff, and ended up with mathematical abilities to make Reed Richards cry, a massive three-day-Tiajuana-drunk-on-cheap-tequilla hangover... and a Black Box he doesn’t remember building.
  • Yes, but does it go with my eyes? June is a clotheshorse par excellance. She has not yet been seen twice at any con in the same costume (somethimes three or four costume changes daily), and likes to show off her eye-popping figure and waist-length hair.
  • Roll 3D6 and divide by purple: The crew are avid role-playing gamers and Discordians, and like their settings to match their sense of humor, i.e. massively weird. They’re still looking for the Floating Vagabond out in the ’Belt in their free time...
  • Three Stooges Alpha Complex: The ship’s computers were all kluged together from Duane’s home network, and affected at the time of The Accident. None of the computers will take orders from anyone but the two crew to date; everyone else who’s tried has been humiliated or worse.
    • Durandal is a Mac G4 Cube, with a personality from the old Marathon Mac game. A physical coward and paranoiac, who took his appearance and mannerisms from Malcom McDowell in Star Trek: Generations, he’s kept mostly under control by...
    • Leela. The second of the triumvirate of computers aboard the colony ship Marathon, Leela’s personality was affected by the Companion of the same name from the Tom Baker Doctor Who run he was downloading off the ’Net at the time of the Accident. Leela is in control of defensive and sensor systems. The third computer, Tycho, from the same game was a homicidal maniac, so Duane instead built the third personality from scratch, creating...
    • Excel XL. Duane’s only referent (he’s not much of an anime fan) for her was the Undocumented Features fanfic, so he cheated a bit and added in some Cowboy Bebop to arrive at the third of the triumvirate. Other than an extremely odd pattern of speech and the occasional piece of info she “just happened to have” from hacking the NSA/NASA/TSAB/TLA, she seems to be completely reliable...


The Admiral Heinlein appears in the following stories: