Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work
From: Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (firstname.lastname@example.org)
To: nntp://fen.biz.hiring.announce, https://post.craigslist.org/fen/J
Subject: Soviet Air Force Now Hiring for Interstellar Work
Date Posted: June 30th, 2013
Ladies and gentlefen,
The Soviet Air Force is hiring experienced pilots, engineers and others for a 2013-14 expedition to Delta Pavonis. This will be an extended interstellar voyage, running approximately 15 days in FTL each way, with a minimum of six weeks in the Delta Pavonis system.
Applicants should be physically & psychologically prepared for an extended absense from Earth and Fenspace & must be able to deal with mundanes on a daily basis. Interstellar experience is not required. Applicants will not need their own spacecraft, although small vehicles may be brought along if there is room on the tender.
Applications should be sent to email@example.com for consideration. Any application going to other USSRAF accounts will not be considered. Candidates will be contacted within the next four weeks for interview at our Kandor City facility.
I wish to thank all applicants in advance for their courage and devotion to expanding the realm of human understanding.
Colonel Malaclypse Fnord
Commander-in-Chief, Soviet Air Force
Subject: [smof-politics] Notice of Sabbatical
From: Col. Mal Fnord, VVS (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Date: 6/30/2013 7:12 PM
Cc: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Okay gang, by now I'm sure you've seen the advertisement I posted to fen.biz. Those of you with connections earthside have probably also seen the ads we've taken out in damn near every university paper in the developed world. To make a long story short, the Soviet Air Force is going out on an interstellar voyage.
Before you lot all start in with the wailing & gnashing of teeth about abandoning the fight, hear me out. Read first, yell later.
The whole "Soviet Air Force" thing started as a *gag*, remember. It was a way to keep our ship happy and provided us with an excuse to play dressup with old Russian uniforms. We had no intention of actually being soldiers; we were tourists with masters' degrees for chrissake! So when the war hit, and like good little citizens we joined the defences, we were caught completely by surprise.
More to the point, the excitement of the last couple months is finally starting to get to me. Between the war in general, Haruhi and her antics, the counter-Haruhi antics, and everything else I've gotten... well, I suppose "burnt out" is the best description. I need to get away from war and politics and Haruhi before I snap and make a dumb decision that gets people killed, or burn all my bridges with my fellow SMOFs, the factions, and even dirtside.
So, this voyage. We do our best work going interstellar, and this time we're going to do it in style. I've been negotiating with the National Geographic Society to operate under their banner, we'll have a multi-ship fleet instead of just Ptichka, and... well, I'll let the surprises fall where they may. ;)
As for us abandoning the fight, don't worry about that. After due consideration (and multiple pitchers of XXXX) we've decided that the Soviet Air Force needs to grow into its name. As we expand, we'll divide the force into two wings, the Exploration Wing and the Defence Wing. The Defence Wing, which *also* has some surprises to make, will remain in Fenspace, providing fire support to GREAT JUSTICE (or whatever ends up replacing it) until the Boskone threat is eliminated.
While I'm gone (right now we're planning on leaving shortly after Labor Day, and not being back until after the new year) all military-related material should be directed at Col. KJ, our newly-minted Chief of Defence Operations. In the likely event that KJ is not in a position to take calls, you can contact his loyal adjutant (St. Gus help us) Dee through the VVS gateway.
The expedition will be interwave capable, so it's not like I'm going to be completely cut off from Fenspace. Still, it's like a two and a half hour round-way trip even for interwave comms. So if you need me to consult on something, make damn sure it's not time-critical.
That's the news from Soviet Kandor. If you're still pissed about something, let me know so I can explain, mock or ignore as needed. Otherwise, I've got stuff to take care of. Catch you on the flipside.
--Not Nathan Fillion