|Residence||Little Red Deathtrap|
|Parents||Jon Helscher ("father")|
L.R.D. (short for "Little Red Deathtrap"), a handwaved 1990 GEO Metro, serves as the all-purpose ship shuttle for The Inelegant Truth. Gay Deceiver is the vehicle's AI.
- The enemy of my enemy is my enemies' enemy: The three principal AIs that "live" on The Inelegant Truth - Callisto, Gay Deceiver, and Brother-Captain Galvius - all hate each other. If allowed, they will bicker to an extent that ship efficiency will drop 30% until they are hard-lock separated from each other's networks.
Even though the Gay Deceiver was named after the car from several Robert Heinlein books, Jon doesn't actually like any of the books overly much. The only other car AI name he could think of was K.I.T.T and Gay's "gender" ended up being female so nix went that plan. He does finish all conversations with her by saying "you're a smart girl, Gay," mostly because she likes it and doesn't start as many fights with Callisto.