Jonathon Helscher

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Jonathon Helscher
ResidenceThe Inelegant Truth
NationalityFenspace Convention
Other namesJon
Bad Moon
OccupationCaptain, The Inelegant Truth
Action! Historian
Weight150 lbs.
Member of the Blue Blazers

Primary writer: Herr Bad Moon. Self Insert 4-Eva!

Also Known As “Jon” or "Bad Moon". Medium build, black hair, brown eyes.

Mundane Attributes

  • Historians peel back the veil of time, and make fun of people when they screw up: Trained as a historian pre-Fenjump, and uses this to run a small media venture, Stark Fist of History, under the pen name Bad Moon that's part blog, part gonzo journalism, and part historical database. His pieces are frequently filled with humorous asides and winding, stream of consciousness tangents where he's not above taking pot shots at whatever Fendom or Dane is currently irritating him. He does, however, maintain a strict separation between reporting the facts and his own interpretation.
  • Jack of all trades, master of none: Is a quick study, and shows a talent for various myriad skills. But only pursues them till he has a moderate proficiency, then abandons them for the next new thing.
  • I'm a shrimp boat captain: Along with his web writings, Jon runs a cargo hauling operation called Veil of History Unlimited. He uses his personal ship, a former Alaskan crab fisher he rechristened The Inelegant Truth, as an improvised freighter. Run is a loose term, as he leaves the day to day operations to his First Mate.

Handwavium Abilities

None: Currently, Jon hasn't been 'waved at all to his knowledge. But he's not sanguine about his chances of that being the case forever.


  • What's to know, pointy end goes in the other guy? Jon's a moderately talented Olympic style fencer, preferring the Epeé over the Foil and Saber. He prefers a wrist cut to other lanes of attack.
  • Double tap to the head, very professional: Due to the fact he's constantly going into potentially dangerous situations, Jon almost always is armed with a .40cal Glock he keeps in a shoulder holster, of which he's trained to use with some skill.
  • Math. We meet again, my old foe: Unlike a large population of Fenspace, Jon loathes any sort of math and avoids it when all possible, fobbing it off on his more technical minded crew members.
  • What did you call me? Despite the pseudo-journalism he engages in regularly, he takes a dim view of being called a journalist and reacts poorly. This trait has been passed along to his crew, with hilarious results at cons.

Preferred Transport

The Inelegant Truth


Jon has a noticeable or major role in the following stories: